Nasty ass

So my co-worker and I are sitting in our office working and I notice, she's a lil bit more silent than usual...I look over to see what is she doing that's making her so quiet that I don't hear the tick tack of keys on the computer... lo and behold.. this bitch is up to her elbows in her nose...
I mean diggin' for gold like this is the fuggin' Texas goldrush...
I turn back to the computer and cough to alert her to the fact that bitch I see you diggin'
I can see her out the corner of my eye pullin' her elbow from outta her nose easily...
Nasty ass...

A Conversation with an Idiot

So I'm sitting in my office and I'm working when Dingbat Daisy comes in... she sits down at the other girl's desk who's not in today. Daisy is trying to put a photo in a frame so as she struggles- she asks about the girl who's desks she's sitting at... 

"What's the difference between what you do and what she does? Are you both graphic designers?"

So I say "nah, she's a stylist and a product designer"

Daisy says "what's the difference?" Now this heffa has been in the department for 10 years son.. why are we having this discussion!! So I say " A stylist, styles products and rooms/environments for shoots etc" She says "on the computer"... WTF! Am I being recorded to see how long it'll take before I beat this bitch about the head and face!? I stop typing look over at her and say "you know how we have LIVE Photoshoots!? IN REAL LIFE!? REAL TIME!? she styles that!" She pauses and sighs- "Oh" she says... I turn back to my computer, figuring this tomfoolery was surely over... then she continues "And she's a product designer?" "Yep" I say as I continue typing... so she then continues "On the computer?" NO WITH A MUTHAFUGGIN LEGO BLOCK SET! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU BEEN IN THIS DEPT THIS LONG AND YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW A PRODUCT COMES TO FRUITION!?!?!?  I stopped typing and said "YES, on the computer!" She goes "Oooook"... she then grunts as she's pushing the glass through the front of the frame- I suggest "why don't you turn it over and slide it in through the back of the frame"... she takes my advice then yells "there it is, I GOT IT!" like she's won the lotto... 

Sister girl- "It" ain't what you got...