The Office-Welfare Part 654

Just another lovely day at the welfare office and my friend is sitting at her cube, when she hears a raucous going on in the cube next to her...
"Rumble, rumble rumble" ... a few chairs move... clearly a tussle going on...smacking sounds... then a meek woman's voice says "why you smack me?"
My friend jumps up and runs McGyver style to her supervisor who's standing next to security and says "there's a woman in the cube next to me being assaulted"... Security and her supervisor go running... there's a man and woman in the cube... the man is clearly angry with the woman- I mean why else would you be smacking someone up? That's the ticket right? So the supervisor says "what's going on here" and security says to the woman, who's holding her face- "do you want to press charges"... they remove the man from the area and put him in the waiting area... she looks fearful... doesn't say anything.... but Fo-hammad Assli comes storming back to the area and glares at the girl, who is surrounded by security, he pokes thru the circle of people and says.. "I'm gon' gitchu when we get home!".... After being asked again if she wants to press charges- she meekly says "no"... security asks her to leave and the supervisor says "Don't nobody say they saw nuthin, she end up dead, channel 12 Bklyn news won't be askin' me what happened, shit"... nice... just when you thought humanity had gone to the dogs, some sorry sack of shit shows you it's actually gone to hell....

$20 for the Gas- $40 for the Stupidity

So hubby is in the gas station yesterday in Scarsdale when the most ridiculous thing happens.
He pumps his gas, goes inside to pay the attendant and as he is walking back to the car and putting his receipt in his wallet, a man comes up to him...
Said man-short lil' pip-squeak is on the phone, talking loudly, has $20 out and says to my hubby- "Hey put $20 in that BMW right there", then the man turns and walks back to his car, continuing his loud convo apparently with someone who is deaf!
So hubby, looks at the $20 puts it in his pocket, walks over to his car on the other side of the gas station and drives back to work.
Now at first I was like, that's not cool... but then I said eff that he was an arrogant lil runt- who I'm sure was going apeshit after sitting in his car for 15 minutes and no gas... not to mention- it's a SELF SERVE STATION YOU DUMMY!!!
People, let's be smart- you pay double for ignorance...

Shoe Size? Uhhh Hold on lemme call somebody...

So I just got an IM from a friend -we'll call her "NOTTOO BRIGHT"
HER: what size sneakers u wear?
ME: 8, u gettin' me some kicks?
HER: no, orderin' from DSW & we wear the same size shoe and I didn't know my size.
ME: admit it your a Rhodes Scholar aren't you?!
HER: huh?
ME: fine, play coy... ass
HER: Are you mad today?
ME: Nope, just not understanding why you don't know your own effin' shoe size...
HER: my sister has been giving me sneakers for so long, they are always tight, I know yours always fit fine...
ME: but u don't buy shoes?
shoes and sneakers are generally the same size
just buy the 8's ... I'm writing a book- and it's gonna be all about the craziness you put me thru!
HER: SO! It'll be a best seller-


I can't take it... somebody give me a gun...