It ain't "Afterwork" if ya been in ya pj's all day!

Last night a friend of mine and I went to this lounge for their "Afterwork Thursdays"... 

So we get in the place and there are a lot of men sitting at the bar-good for my friend who's single... one problem tho',  they're all old as hell.. balding men, Groucho Marx mustaches, old ass suits  lookin' like they are from a catalog... an old men's catalog from 1982. 

So we order 2 drinks, and go sit down... then 2 pip squeeks come sit across from us... 

Both are the height of a Pre-schooler... nice... Now I'm not tall.. but I know I don't want no one who stands next to me and looks like my child... ya hear me?

So, the one sitting directly across from me, looks like his name is "Spank Spank", wearing a light colored "Sunday 2 for $59 Special" suit complete with vest and tie, he's bald with a Nation of Islam beard and ... got coke bottle magnifying damn glasses... I'm like great... good thing ain't no sun or else this mofo would surely burn the hell out of me... I mean he looks like Red Foxx in Harlem Nights with these glasses!! 

The dreamboat sitting across from my friend? looks like his name is LeRoy... well LeRoy was dead sexy... 

I scan him from head to toe... LeRoy has braids... cornrows going back with  lil curls at the end... ain't that cute? u a grown ass man who got a curl at the end of ya muhfuggin braids?!?!?! I scan down further dusty blue sweater... down further jeans that were a bit on the faded side but he had a fuggin' knee exposed! He had ripped jeans on- strategically torn- like in a square around his effin' knee! ... So LeRoy gets up to go the bar... turns around... he's got another strategically placed rip on the pocket... WTF... pockets flappin',  knee flappin'... WTF is that?! 

So "Flappy Johnson" aka LeRoy returns... and they order food... meanwhile he's staring down my friend trying desperately to make eye contact... ALAS he makes eye contact with her... leans over and says

"Uhhhh has anyone ever told you, you look like Jordin Sparks?" My friend replies "no, haven't heard that one"... thinking its over she turns back to me... LeRoy just don't get it... he continues "Yeah cuz I've been watching VH1 all week, I've been home all week... things been kinda slow"... And Spanks is sittin there lookin' at me bout to burn me to death...

I pause and turn away... I said to her "What he say!?" She repeats it... I know we are in an economic slump right now but does that mean that a man's game must also suffer? Telling a woman that she looks like a celebrity may have gotten you points... however, continuing the rap with the "I've been home all week" leads me to my next question- da hell you doin' at an AFTERWORK event when you been sittin' in ya pj's all day watching VH1!

We gots to do better...