Gotta love NYC

Ask anyone and they'll tell you AQuietstorm loves her some NYC- born and bred here- however, there are some days when NY is a bit much! And today is one of those days-

I get on the subway, no problem 8:31 a.m. and of course- folks are packed like cattle.

So I go to my usual spot by the door- and of course I get the crazies because hey, it's me, what else would my life be if I didn't get to stand next to an idiot who is a germa-phobe...(eyes rollin')

So this young lady, gets on the train and decides that she doesn't want to hold on to the pole so she stands in the middle of the train- like she's surfing- legs spread apart, holding on to the ipod and swaying back and forth like a human pendulum. Did I say she also has a book bag that weighs at least 25 lbs? So she continues to sway for 2 stops with the book bag and after being pushed from side to side- the idiot moves closer in MY direction. Great- just what I needed. Still sticking with  her original plan of roughing it without holding on- she puts her knee on the pole, that's right- her knee - because what u didn't know boys and girls is that God put mofo SUCTIONS on your knee cap!!!!

 Then as she inches closer to get a better stance on the pole- the person she's molesting with her other leg, gives her that look like "It's 8 am and I will bust your ass because I haven't had my coffee yet" ... so she decides... let me just put my FIST on the pole- yeah, because I don't wanna hold on so I'm gonna try to navigate the swaying by putting my fist on the pole- don't you love it? She glances at me only to see the "Bitch please" expression on my face and decides maybe the knee isn't the best option for her so instead of her fist- she moves to 1 finger- her index finger- nice- you stupid wench... if the train stops abruptly you gonna be minus a finger u dip shit... 

My thing is this- you might have gotten away from the germs by not holding on to the railing entering the station– but you use a metro card to swipe thru that system- so you touch that metro card and it goes thru the same slot that many other metro cards have gone thru- especially metro cards that have been swiped thru the ass of a stripper named "Tasty" the night before! So after the metro card has gone thru "Tasty's" metro card system, it enters the MTA slot- which then ur metro card swipes thru and then u put that shit in ur wallet- so if you were gonna catch something- it wouldn't be from the pole u dingleberry! Not to mention, u are using everything else to hold on to the pole- can the top of your fist be detached and discarded- apparently your brain works in that manner however your hand does not! Your jeans? oh yeah they are anti-bacterial you say? Nice- if there was some flesh eating or acidic germ that was pole jumping- u think that it wouldn't move from your fist or jeans knee cap to kill u??? 

And then as I'm standing there watching this bitch go from index finger back to fist- I notice there's a big headed man standing behind her, ipod blasting and he's RIGHT on her back, he's holding on the bar above Germaphobe but he's so close that she has to tilt her head forward to avoid being in his arm pit (makes ya feel all Lever 2000 like right?)- well Big Head decides this is a fuckin' concert and I guess the tune he was listening to got good b/c he decides- "This is my audition for guitarist on a subway pole!" so he proceeds to play the tune on the pole with his fat fingers and arm jerkin' to the beat right on Germaphobe's head!

What I also love is how this young chic, gets on the train- hood girl- with a baby stroller- it was the longest fuckin' stroller I've ever seen in my life... usually I have no problem, u on the train it's a stroller- whatever- 

but  Hood girl pushes this stroller on and is takin' out mofo's left and right- you just hear people screamin' "DAMN" , "ESSSCUSE ME!", "SHIT", "OUCH!"... she rollin' thru angry as hell not saying excuse me the first and steady rolling her eyes...I ignored her and kept holding on, then I felt the stroller hit my heel- it's early I don't have a filter for facial expressions before 9:30- so I turn around and glare at her- she says "Sorry miss"- I just said "uh huh" but you steady standing there with a 'tude! Don't catch an attitude because you decided that at 8:45 am u and ur long ass stroller was gonna get on and then got the nerve to be takin' out muthafuggin' ankles and shit... 

New York Subways... shit...