So living in NYC often has it's ups and downs- this past week-a down moment occurred- a woman in my building was raped and robbed in the elevator. Tragic indeed, the assailant is described as a black man 5'9-6'0 in his 30's, wearing a black hoodie...
So with that description- hubby is indeed worried- after all he's a black man in his 30's and 6'4- you say the height doesn't fit the description? But to folks who run from him in the laundry room b/c they believe he's about to steal their dirty underwear, surely you can see why his worry radar goes up... so his latest mission is not to seem threatening to anyone in the building- so he smiles, pauses before he approaches the door and has to check the mailbox to subtly PROVE that he lives here...and no he shouldn't have to but to avoid being the next star on COPS he's taking extra precautions given the circumstances...
However, there are a few other males who don't fit in the smart/cautious category...
Yesterday while entering our building- we notice a dude who's in our age group- 30's - we've dubbed him "Quarter Water" after we saw him sitting atop a ledge outside of our building swinging his legs with 2 pippie longstock braids- all whilst drinking a Quarter Water... sexy I know..
Well "Quarter Water" was outside again- sitting on the stoop- in 90 degree weather- with...alas... a black Ed Hardy Hoodie... wow.. you's a bright mofosucka aren't you? After all you fit the description of the assailant- black man, 30's and alas wearing a HOODIE- IN THE FUGGIN SUMMERTIME no less! "Hi My name is Dumb ass!" And wearing sunglasses! Yes Ed Hardy is "fashionable" (not really) but it's gonna be Ed "Hardy" you married to in Cell Block #4 on Rikers! And as hubby walks in the building he says aloud "Wow Hoodies in the heat- my sweat glands missed that memo"
I'm all for not making assumptions- b/c seriously there are at least 200 men in the neighborhood that fit that description- but you wearing a black hoodie when there's a miscellaneous black man running around as your twin raping and robbing women really don't help the situation, ya dig?! Let's use common sense here! Not only do you look like the g*tdamn Uni-bomber, you also look like the suspect! Did you go to Yale? I mean you must've graduated Magna Cum Laude! Oh how scientists should do an experiment on how your brain works...
And as elderly women approach the building he's sitting there looking bewildered when they double step like "Magda" in that movie Something About Mary to get inside the building and you are even more perplexed when they look behind them like this is Halloween Washington Heights Version! Let's not give the police a reason to stop you- okay?
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