Jus' Checkin'

These days it seems like I'm getting most of my "Can't make this Stuff Up" material from hubby's job- but I just started a gig so no doubt the tales will emerge from "The Crypt of Foolishness" in due time. But I digress...
Yesterday, hubby is in his store and a customer comes in- a middle aged Italian woman with 3 kids. We'll call her "Mrs. Donato." She's interested in buying a product that is advertised in the local newspaper and has the catalogue handy -hubby goes into his sales pitch. Mrs. Donato, running low on time, needs to leave in order to catch a store before it closes and asks could they finish the sale over the phone and can he call her around 5 so that her husband can provide his credit card info. Hubby says fine, no problem, gives her the print out of the price and the woman happily goes off.

Five o'clock hits and hubby calls the woman to complete the sale. *Ring* *Ring* "Hello" a man answers. "Hi, this is Sam* from Run & Jump Off A Bridge Systems*, is Mrs. Donato available?" hubby says. The man replies angrily, "Who's this?!!!" Hubby says " Again this is Sam from Run & Jump Off a Bridge Systems, Mrs. Donato wanted to place an order for a trampoline with me, I spoke to her earlier."
The man asks, "Are you fucking my wife?" *Record Scratch* Hubby looks at the phone, surely he thinks he's dialed the wrong number, putting the phone back to his ear replies, "Excuse me Sir?" The man again says "You heard me! Are you fucking my wife!?"

Clutch my pearls and call me Suzy, what the hell is going on here, buddy if you gotta ask that then perhaps you need to re-evaluate why you're married to a hooker, if the first question you ask every mail that she's in talks with the "Are you fucking my wife" question!

Hubby continues "Sir, your wife came in this morning looking for a trampoline from this company and she had a catalogue, so I'm pretty sure the catalogue/paper work or something is laying somewhere around your house and I'm pretty sure you have caller I.D. so you can see where I'm coming from and if I WAS having an affair with your wife, would I really be calling you?" afterwards while the man is trying to gather words to say in response, hubby hangs up on him.

About 5 minutes later, the phone rings again- "Hello, Run & Jump Off A Bridge Systems, how may ..." "Listen , listen, I'm sorry about that" says Mr. Donato, "but my wife is a fucking whore and I don't trust her, and I just needed to make sure... "
Hubby interrupts and says, "Well sir, if you can please let her know I called about the order she wanted to place, but I'd rather you call back with the credit card info instead of her so I can assure you that this is an actual sale." "I I I'll tell her you called" replied the man....

What
The
Fuck