Innaviews

So I'm in search of a new gig... like most folks...
I went on an interview today for a spot at a reputable magazine-
I get to the building, security like it's the U.N. which is typical these days. I get granted the golden pass to the appropriate floor. I get to the floor, no one- not a messenger, not a receptionist, not even an old Sage to guide me. Luckily a woman comes and opens the door, while inside- I have to ask 4 people for this woman- no one seems to know who she is...
Finally someone points me in the direction of her office-- I walk up in there- and someone else directs me to her office.. she's in there- chillin' playin on the internet like she in Game Stop!
Like Bitch didn't security tell your ass I was coming up!?!?!? And you playin' on the internet like ain't shit goin on...
So after I get over my initial shock of the tomfoolery.. She greets me, I greet her then she hands me a 6 page application- what the fuck is this? McDonald's? After I fill out the SAME SHIT THATS ON MY MUTHAFUGGIN RESUME! We begin the interview...
So she starts "ummm-ing", hemming and hawing... and ... mumbling... like she's a GOTDAMN mental patient! She proceeds to tell me about the dept., and introduce me to everyone in there like I got the job- like heffa, I don't wanna meet your boss- or the underling in the dept.
Then she reads off of a list- the benefits that the company offers- nice...
Then she goes through all the projects that the department takes on- and how difficult the clients are, then she does the "Norman Bates" mumbling under her breath...

Then she asks, "In situations where you've had to deal with difficult people, how do you handle them?" Why do people ask those questions? Like do you expect me to say "Well, first I slap a bitch and ask her what's wrong witchu!?" Heffa it's a job interview? Of course I'm gonna give you the best answer! Then she pulls out a list of questions that she's supposed to ask- at which point I say... "What the hell am I doing here?" So I ask a few questions- one of which is "Who does this position report in to?" And then she says "me"... again I ask myself.. "What the hell am I doing here?"
Then she asks for my salary range- I tell her... then she tells me "well we're currently in the process of asking for an increase for the position" so you know I'm (in my head) saying at this point- "What the eff am I doing here!?"

At that point I've realized "I ain't even puttin' no more energy into this shit"

I'd be working for Pauper Wages, with a department that has a mumbling idiot and a "Where's Waldo" imitator sittin' in the back...

Interviewing... sucks MONKEY NUTS!