So last week, hubby and I go to visit one of his old co-workers for dinner and just to chill at their crib... This couple is always interesting because it doesn't matter what the topic is- they will argue right in front of our asses like we are invisible and they share intimate details that NO ONE should ever share...
So said couple has 2 kids (girls ages 2 and 5), a nice co-op they are residing in with a garage- beautiful home...
We come in and start chatting it up, it's been about 2 years since we've seen them and were glad to reconnect. So they give us a tour of the house- nice- the kiddies are asleep... so precious.
We come back downstairs, order food and start chatting it up again- of course we get into the discussion about kids, with the obvious question "when are you two having some kids"... yeah yeah I say, when yall payin' for them lil crumb snatchers... So hubby says to his friend, Dred*, "are you gonna try for a boy?" ... Dred looks down and then laughs nervously, "I just found out man I can't have no more kids"... damn.. what a way to start dinner off and being that hubby is sometimes a "lil slow" he's like "whatchu mean"... so I look at Dred, he's rolling his eyes, shaking his head "no no more kids man"... I'm thinking "damn he put his infertility out on the table" ... then his wife yelps out "The shop is closed! I got my tubes tied! no more!".... WTF... "DAMN" I yell... Dred confirms and then reveals ole girl went and got her tubes tied THEN came home and told him over dinner on some ole "pass the peas, oh yeah by the way I got my tubes tied, take the bread out the oven" type shit... So hubby and I look at each other- here goes the Dr. Phil session... so she starts to ramble about how it's her decision but I'm just saying... it's your HUSBAND not the dude from the corner store! Tell him before you make the move... but that's just me...
So we change the topic and are back to laughing and joking and the 2 year old is now awake and comes down stairs- she immediately comes over to her mom and starts crying... her mom then picks her up and goes into the living room and is holding her close... I'm like "awww mommy daughter time" thinking she's rocking lil one back to sleep... but oh how I was wrong...
So she comes back into the kitchen and sits down, the 2 year old is running around giggling and playing, then the wife says to me "yeah she needed to be fed"... EXCUSE ME? she continues "People are still shocked that I'm breastfeeding her" ... What the... BREASTFEEDING!? That child came down the stairs on her OWN and you up here breast feeding her!?!?!?
So, I'm in shock, because after all, shorty is walking around eatin' potato chips and pieces of chicken and pizza and you still got her on the tit?! When she gonna start drinking from a cup, when she 30? She'll be like, hold on let's reschedule that meeting with the agency, I gotta go home for my feeding! ... shit... So her husband is like "yeah man, she still nursin' the baby" I'm like excuse me your "baby" walking round here like she own this joint and telling you she wants chicken!! So then of course, she continues, "gurrrl, my nipple could be out I wouldn't know it, I have no sensation"... I put my chicken wing down... nah son... fuck that I don't wanna eat no more behind that shit... my hubby of course is mid bite on a slice of pizza and puts that shit down himself... So her hubby continues, "yeah man, I try to get a lil somethin' started and I touch her breast and nuttin' happen man... nuttin'... " I jumped up and left the room- do I need to know that you and your wife are having "response" issues??????
I come back after the chatter about her having Wooden Nipples has ceased...
So we are sitting there talking about life and such and here comes the 2 year old...
gets in her mother's lap pulls down her mother's top and starts to GO TO TOWN! I was startled, because I'm sitting there, "yeah and you know... wait a minute what the fuck?!?" The little booger did that shit 4 times while we were sitting there talking... she was layin' in her mother's arms.. playin' with her feet... suckin' on the tit...
I was at a loss for words- especially after Feeding #3 I accidentally glanced down to the child only to get a birds eye view of this woman's exposed tit with veins looking like they fixin' to bust up outta her breast!
All I'm sayin' is... this kid ate like 6 wings then came to momma to get somethin' to wash them shits down... how you figure you got hot wing sauce on ya nipples and you and ya husband ain't been playin' love makin' games! if the baby can hold a fuckin' chicken wing they can hold a damn bottle or a cup!
We gots to do better!
1 comment:
I completely agree with you.. As a woman of an 18 month old, I can't imagine still putting him up to my breast to feed with the mouthful of teeth that he has... It;s no wonder your friend has no feeling in her tit, the little one has probably chewed it away! I saw a woman on the train the other day breastfeeding a child who was half her height... kudos to you on your ability to hold your tongue!
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