So I'm riding the #1 train downtown one afternoon and I'm standing there rocking to my itunes.. when I notice behind me there's "Someone" who seems to be a couple of fries short of a happy meal... I notice this person is a lil more loonier than usual from the stares and the way people come on the train and quickly move to get away, not to mention he's incessantly rocking and swaying even when the train is not in motion... Anyway, said Looney gets on about 125th...
I turn around to face him and have my back to the door- after all I'd rather fall out the door than be clobbered with a bottle of Ripple right?
So I'm now facing Loon... who by all accounts looks normal... young guy maybe 31, attractive... very concerned with his appearance...after all he's bent down twice to wipe the imaginary dirt off of his brand new Timberlands he probably got for Christmas from his Grandmama...
We cruise by a few stations and I see him taking swigs from this bottle... looks like champagne... others are aware of this as well and keep looking at him in amazement and disgust... as he takes 3 or 4 swigs from the bottle and appears to be drunk... I say to myself "he's bold to be drinking out in the public like that, must be crazy, looks like he's gonna finish that whole bottle by next stop.. damn, he's drunk or tipsy to say the least the way he's rockin' like that and lookin crazy..." He burps like he's had 12 brews... sexy... this one needs a date...
Then I notice... "hmmm the bottle looks familiar, I'm not a champagne drinker tho'... hmmmm.. why that look like... HOLD UP... this motherfugger is drinking MARTINELLI'S SPARKLING APPLE CIDER!.... "
Oh yeah you real gangsta... guess you got some motherfuggin' animal crackers in ya pocket too and Sesame street undies on ... ya bitch ass... you actin' like you drunk off of Apple Cider... bet ya Fiddy Cent would sign you up for his band of merry men... Scarface ain't got nothin' on you do he? bitch ass...
Remember kiddies, drink up the Apple Cider so you too can be a fake ass gangsta!
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